Sunday, January 1, 2012
A New Year, and a Renewed Commitment to Cover
This is the perfect time of year to make positive changes for the year ahead! Are you ready to cover this year? What motivates you to do it? Privacy issues? Spiritual beliefs? It's time that we as women take a harder look at how much control we have over our identities and the public use of those identities. The recent outcry about Lowe's pulling their ads from a show about American Muslims because of pressure from a fringe religious group and the firestorm of hate that it sparked shows that the issue of how a woman presents herself in public is still, after thousands of years, a very touchy subject culturally. It's time to deconstruct the myths and misconceptions about dressing modestly and to explore the place of modesty in modern culture.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Cross Posted: The iCover Project
Cross posted from my personal blog, Living in Four Rooms, is this brief explanation of the project and some of the issues I want it to explore:
A close friend and I have started this project to explore why women choose to dress modestly and cover their heads. For some the reasons are personal, for some they are religious, for some they are cultural, and for some they are political.
One thing we know for sure is that for a woman to cover her head and/or her body in Western society, where women are expected to be on display at all times, is an act that draws attention.
Western women who choose this path are choosing to face discrimination, scorn, and the risks that come with adopting what is traditionally considered to be an Islamic form of dress in a country that is not very accepting of Muslims. So why do it?
One thing we know for sure is that for a woman to cover her head and/or her body in Western society, where women are expected to be on display at all times, is an act that draws attention.
Western women who choose this path are choosing to face discrimination, scorn, and the risks that come with adopting what is traditionally considered to be an Islamic form of dress in a country that is not very accepting of Muslims. So why do it?
Some women started wearing hijab after 9/11 in solidarity with the Muslims in the US and to try to break down prejudices against Muslims in the US. Some religious women of all faiths dress modestly and cover their heads out of piety or religious belief. Some women are fed up with the pressure to show as much skin as possible and advocate a return to and celebration of the feminine as expressed through beautiful fabrics, elaborate makeup, and jewels. Western society has become so hyper-sexualized that any expression of sexuality other than the actual sexual act has become lost. Other women are choosing to cover as a response to the ever growing invasiveness of Western society.
Thanks to camera cell phones and the easy availability of social networks, YouTube, and other media women are under assault everywhere. Just leaving the house could result in being photographed without your knowledge and your image used on a website without your permission, or being Photoshopped into questionable videos. Since what is put on the Internet never really goes away one moment of being caught with your guard down could result in your image being used in a way that you never intended forever. Some women see covering their heads, faces and/or bodies as a way of fighting back against the relentless intrusion of digital media into everyday life.
We're exploring the reasons why thousands of women are choosing to cover/dress modestly, what impact it has on their lives, and how the ideas of beauty and femininity are being redefined by using fashion, makeup, and hair styling to do more than just signal availability for sex.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
TVT Promo Emily.mp4
"Questioning the servitude of forced veiling or unveiling in shared spaces, Rabia Z an Arab, Afghani American Muslim takes on a journey across six nations, hotbeds of the veiling controversy- France, Afghanistan, Pakistan, USA, UK and UAE --to find a solution. Stirring dialogue with everyday people, religious scholars, policy makers and press, trying to understand both sides of the argument; her meetings with other Muslim women - like Jana of Hijab Style blogs / Sarah Elenany/ Funny Girls- all working towards building cultural bridges reveals heartwarming stories of women affecting change"
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
What the iCover Project Is
The iCover Project was started by a group of Facebook friends who all had in interest in the idea of wearing more modest clothing and covering their heads. The more we all talked and shared links the more it became clear that though we had wildly different belief systems and backgrounds we all had independently become fascinated with the idea of covering from many aspects.
Aesthetically, spiritually, and culturally it seemed more and more relevant the deeper we looked at it. Some of the women who write for this blog are Christian, some are Muslim, some are spiritual but do not affiliate themselves with any organized religion. Some have worn hijab for a long time, others are just starting out.We come from a wide range of backgrounds, lifestyles, and religions.
The personal stories and perspectives on this blog hopefully will dispel common Western misconceptions about covering, and examine from a deeply personal perspective why women choose to cover their heads and why it's considered such a radical act in the West to do so.All of the regular contributors to this blog are American women born and raised in Western culture. The founders are both married to active duty US soldiers who have fought in Afghanistan and live on military bases.
Aesthetically, spiritually, and culturally it seemed more and more relevant the deeper we looked at it. Some of the women who write for this blog are Christian, some are Muslim, some are spiritual but do not affiliate themselves with any organized religion. Some have worn hijab for a long time, others are just starting out.We come from a wide range of backgrounds, lifestyles, and religions.
The personal stories and perspectives on this blog hopefully will dispel common Western misconceptions about covering, and examine from a deeply personal perspective why women choose to cover their heads and why it's considered such a radical act in the West to do so.All of the regular contributors to this blog are American women born and raised in Western culture. The founders are both married to active duty US soldiers who have fought in Afghanistan and live on military bases.
Cultural Diversity and Burning Down Identities
(this is a response i wrote a few weeks ago to the reactions of my friends and family to the way i have been dressing and presenting myself lately. i thought it might be an appropriate way to start this blog. it is not directed at any one person or group in particular, it's just an explanation.)
I'm sorry to see that it has come to this. I have made so many changes; so many re-inventions of myself over the course of my life. I have adopted so many eccentricities and learned about so many ways of living. I have changed everything about myself on a lot more than one occasion. I have been torn down to nothing and rebuilt myself countless times. I am an expert at reinvention; and at taking bits and pieces from every culture and belief I can get my greedy little hands on to do so.
Over the past year or so I have been wearing a head covering, usually scarves, hijab, especially when I leave the house. For some reason (certain) people are having such a hard time with this one, and I am really stunned as to why they seem to fixate on this one little thing in light of all the other interesting habits I have acquired and dropped over the years. I have dyed my hair every color imaginable, cut it in every way I could come up with, worn bizarre clothing of many sorts, done extravagant makeup and body art. I've fallen in to, learned from, and transcended religions, cults, schools, professions, vocations, drugs, diets, medicines, dances, interpersonal relationships, books, movies, sex, art, love, and so much more. I've put myself on display time and time again. But this whole “modesty” thing? It's an outrage. How could I? Have I converted to some weird religion? Am I a terrorist? Am I oppressed? The list goes on.
I was sincerely figuring that this would just blend seamlessly with the endless iterations of me. I did not think I would have to explain myself. And I really don't have to explain anything, but I for some reason feel it necessary to. Not to everyone; there are many people in my life who “get it”, many people who either have something really positive to say or who don't even bat an eyelash at it. Friends who have known me a long, long time and have seen me reinvent myself before, in particular, just smile at this one. They know how these sorts of things work. But I'm sick at the amount of flak I catch lately. I think it's something about the current social and political climate; there is a lot of hate in the air these days. It's really rather embarrassing. So I do believe I will make a few points about this latest incarnation and covering my head. This also includes wearing clothing that is just a little bit more comfortable and flows just a little bit more freely than what the norm is here, that shows off less skin.
I have not converted to any sort of organized religion. I respect and try to understand organized religions, and I do like a lot of things that a lot of religions teach. I find that I follow a lot of the concepts taught in religions in my daily life, but just because it's common sense. Has nothing to do with a specific holy instruction manual no matter how poetically written it is. I am far too experimental and all over the place to bind myself to just one religion. I probably have some lingering issues with authority figures, but I think the whole concept of “authority” is a flawed one, and that is probably a conversation for another time. But no, I have not suddenly found religion and adopted a god, that has little to do with it. I do find that dressing as I have been can be holy, powerful, spiritual, and enlightening. But probably not in the ways that you'd think. There is power to be found in this that is far older and deeper than any religion, ancient and archaic and beautiful. A veil is very symbolic of many, many things.
The clothing itself is exquisitely beautiful. I have never come across anything in western fashion or clothing stores that even comes close to being so elegant and comfortable and yet practical and utilitarian at the same time. I find that I feel so much more confident, and feminine when I wear such things. Even alluring and mysterious sometimes. The stresses of constant body image issues melts away; there simply is no comparison to anyone else I see. And even those of us who are the most at ease with our appearance feel slightly inadequate from time to time. I've been slowly replacing items in my wardrobe, one at a time, with nicer things. With saris from India, tunics from Egypt, scarves from many diverse places including the Middle-East and Eastern Europe, kimonos from Japan, hand painted fine silk robes and nightgowns from China, to name a few. My wish-list is long and some of these things are expensive, so it will take some time to acquire the many things that I covet. But I am indeed gradually phasing out my entire closet.
Nobody asked me to do this. My husband, in particular, did not ask me to do this, though he supports me 100%. If he had asked me I would have. If he asked me to wear paper bags and shave my head I would, and I would feel beautiful doing so because I would know it was beautiful to him. But he didn't. And he wouldn't. Because that's just not the sort of relationship we have. I highly value his opinion and prefer to have his approval and acceptance, but he will (and often does!) put up with all sorts of craziness from me. Our fierce eccentricity is one of the things that we have in common, one of the things that attracted us to each other in the first place. We are always respectful of the others choices, and we always take each others opinions in to account. It is a testament to the strength of our marriage that our opinions and beliefs happen to evolve in a perfectly complimentary direction, and we are nearly always exactly on the same page. As we are on this non-issue. He thinks that my recent choices are just as beautiful and stunning as I do.
I am not 18 any more. Though as it turns out I am aging pretty well it is not becoming for a woman of my age to run around in fitted jeans with a baby-doll tee. Yes, I can wear these things. I am in good enough shape to and I look fine. I know this; it's not an insecurity issue. It's more a matter of self respect, of not trying to look younger than I am in some desperate attempt to live up to the false expectations of an empty, soulless culture. I've given all my baby-doll tees to my daughters, they fit perfectly as tunics for them. But me? No. I've outgrown the whole concept.
When I was younger I was a big believer in “my body, my playground”. These days that carefree, amusement park attitude has matured in to the more proper “my body, my temple”. I spend an enormous amount of time and effort to constantly, constantly improve myself. This is out of love for myself, love for my husband, love for my children... they deserve someone amazing to take care of them as they are all so amazing in and of themselves. There are no goals, no limits, just a drive to always strive for more and better. I greatly appreciate what I have already achieved and do not write it off, but it is an eternal task; it is growth on a emotional, physical, and spiritual level. I've been doing yoga for close to a decade now, and it's starting to be noticeable. I'm learning to cook exceptionally delicious foods from all over the world. I spend a lot of time on skin and hair care, on exquisite small body modifications and fine muscle control, eating ever healthier, very carefully using specific vitamins, supplements, and medications; essentially learning to take quality care of myself. Not out of a sense of ego or entitlement; I really have none. Much more this comes from a yearning for enlightenment and transcendence, a desire to break through boundaries and barriers. And I am succeeding. Very much so. However, if I am succeeding at turning my body and my mind in to a temple, well, a temple is something holy. It is protected, the inner workings are hidden from the prying eyes of the uninitiated. Bluntly, unless you know me and know me well, I don't want you to be able to see me. I've worked too hard for this to put it on display for everyone. Exposing myself to the general public cheapens the entire experience.
Is this a political thing, I've been asked. Well, not exactly. It's a personal thing. The entire political/social side of it is really just a side effect, an unintended bonus. I'm not exactly politically active in any way other than the most subtle of behind-the-scenes. Am I a terrorist? (Yes, someone has actually asked me this.) No, of course not. Nor am I a freedom fighter. Nor a hero. But having someone think that I could be? I'll take that as a compliment and leave it at that. There are a lot of preconceived notions flying around today, there is a lot of hate and judgment. If I can do a little bit to fight that I gladly will. If I can do a small part to promote tolerance and diversity than I gladly will. But it is not my primary objective.
This is not something I am doing for attention. It really annoys me when people imply that. As has always been the case with me, I do what I do because it is personally relevant to me at the time. I have never, never cared what people think of me when I walk down the street. Unless you are somebody that I personally know your opinion of me does not matter one iota. Though it is nice to be acknowledged when I look nice, no doubt, it is not a reason in the least. Craving attention of that sort implies that one have a far different sense of self than I do.
I dress the way I do, speak the way I do, act the way I do at any given time because I find myself unable to put down the wheel of progress and improvement and must always be at the razor's edge of life. I have to keep my fingers on the pulse-beat of the world or I am lost. And lately the world is whispering, telling me that a little bit of modesty, of healing, of faith, of common decency is in severe demand. It's telling you, too, if you'd only take a moment and listen. I am a creature of extremes and so I will take this as far as I can, and then more likely than not move on to the next level. I will not apologize for it, I will not bend myself over backwards to accommodate the comfort level of the masses. If it makes you uncomfortable, well, good. There is more to life than a nine to five, prime time television, and prepackaged food. Call it god, call it the life force of the universe, call it enlightenment, call it whatever you'd please. Look me in the eyes and tell me otherwise; it's the only part of me you'll be able to see, eventually. The rest is not for you.
I'm sorry to see that it has come to this. I have made so many changes; so many re-inventions of myself over the course of my life. I have adopted so many eccentricities and learned about so many ways of living. I have changed everything about myself on a lot more than one occasion. I have been torn down to nothing and rebuilt myself countless times. I am an expert at reinvention; and at taking bits and pieces from every culture and belief I can get my greedy little hands on to do so.
Over the past year or so I have been wearing a head covering, usually scarves, hijab, especially when I leave the house. For some reason (certain) people are having such a hard time with this one, and I am really stunned as to why they seem to fixate on this one little thing in light of all the other interesting habits I have acquired and dropped over the years. I have dyed my hair every color imaginable, cut it in every way I could come up with, worn bizarre clothing of many sorts, done extravagant makeup and body art. I've fallen in to, learned from, and transcended religions, cults, schools, professions, vocations, drugs, diets, medicines, dances, interpersonal relationships, books, movies, sex, art, love, and so much more. I've put myself on display time and time again. But this whole “modesty” thing? It's an outrage. How could I? Have I converted to some weird religion? Am I a terrorist? Am I oppressed? The list goes on.
I was sincerely figuring that this would just blend seamlessly with the endless iterations of me. I did not think I would have to explain myself. And I really don't have to explain anything, but I for some reason feel it necessary to. Not to everyone; there are many people in my life who “get it”, many people who either have something really positive to say or who don't even bat an eyelash at it. Friends who have known me a long, long time and have seen me reinvent myself before, in particular, just smile at this one. They know how these sorts of things work. But I'm sick at the amount of flak I catch lately. I think it's something about the current social and political climate; there is a lot of hate in the air these days. It's really rather embarrassing. So I do believe I will make a few points about this latest incarnation and covering my head. This also includes wearing clothing that is just a little bit more comfortable and flows just a little bit more freely than what the norm is here, that shows off less skin.
I have not converted to any sort of organized religion. I respect and try to understand organized religions, and I do like a lot of things that a lot of religions teach. I find that I follow a lot of the concepts taught in religions in my daily life, but just because it's common sense. Has nothing to do with a specific holy instruction manual no matter how poetically written it is. I am far too experimental and all over the place to bind myself to just one religion. I probably have some lingering issues with authority figures, but I think the whole concept of “authority” is a flawed one, and that is probably a conversation for another time. But no, I have not suddenly found religion and adopted a god, that has little to do with it. I do find that dressing as I have been can be holy, powerful, spiritual, and enlightening. But probably not in the ways that you'd think. There is power to be found in this that is far older and deeper than any religion, ancient and archaic and beautiful. A veil is very symbolic of many, many things.
The clothing itself is exquisitely beautiful. I have never come across anything in western fashion or clothing stores that even comes close to being so elegant and comfortable and yet practical and utilitarian at the same time. I find that I feel so much more confident, and feminine when I wear such things. Even alluring and mysterious sometimes. The stresses of constant body image issues melts away; there simply is no comparison to anyone else I see. And even those of us who are the most at ease with our appearance feel slightly inadequate from time to time. I've been slowly replacing items in my wardrobe, one at a time, with nicer things. With saris from India, tunics from Egypt, scarves from many diverse places including the Middle-East and Eastern Europe, kimonos from Japan, hand painted fine silk robes and nightgowns from China, to name a few. My wish-list is long and some of these things are expensive, so it will take some time to acquire the many things that I covet. But I am indeed gradually phasing out my entire closet.
Nobody asked me to do this. My husband, in particular, did not ask me to do this, though he supports me 100%. If he had asked me I would have. If he asked me to wear paper bags and shave my head I would, and I would feel beautiful doing so because I would know it was beautiful to him. But he didn't. And he wouldn't. Because that's just not the sort of relationship we have. I highly value his opinion and prefer to have his approval and acceptance, but he will (and often does!) put up with all sorts of craziness from me. Our fierce eccentricity is one of the things that we have in common, one of the things that attracted us to each other in the first place. We are always respectful of the others choices, and we always take each others opinions in to account. It is a testament to the strength of our marriage that our opinions and beliefs happen to evolve in a perfectly complimentary direction, and we are nearly always exactly on the same page. As we are on this non-issue. He thinks that my recent choices are just as beautiful and stunning as I do.
I am not 18 any more. Though as it turns out I am aging pretty well it is not becoming for a woman of my age to run around in fitted jeans with a baby-doll tee. Yes, I can wear these things. I am in good enough shape to and I look fine. I know this; it's not an insecurity issue. It's more a matter of self respect, of not trying to look younger than I am in some desperate attempt to live up to the false expectations of an empty, soulless culture. I've given all my baby-doll tees to my daughters, they fit perfectly as tunics for them. But me? No. I've outgrown the whole concept.
When I was younger I was a big believer in “my body, my playground”. These days that carefree, amusement park attitude has matured in to the more proper “my body, my temple”. I spend an enormous amount of time and effort to constantly, constantly improve myself. This is out of love for myself, love for my husband, love for my children... they deserve someone amazing to take care of them as they are all so amazing in and of themselves. There are no goals, no limits, just a drive to always strive for more and better. I greatly appreciate what I have already achieved and do not write it off, but it is an eternal task; it is growth on a emotional, physical, and spiritual level. I've been doing yoga for close to a decade now, and it's starting to be noticeable. I'm learning to cook exceptionally delicious foods from all over the world. I spend a lot of time on skin and hair care, on exquisite small body modifications and fine muscle control, eating ever healthier, very carefully using specific vitamins, supplements, and medications; essentially learning to take quality care of myself. Not out of a sense of ego or entitlement; I really have none. Much more this comes from a yearning for enlightenment and transcendence, a desire to break through boundaries and barriers. And I am succeeding. Very much so. However, if I am succeeding at turning my body and my mind in to a temple, well, a temple is something holy. It is protected, the inner workings are hidden from the prying eyes of the uninitiated. Bluntly, unless you know me and know me well, I don't want you to be able to see me. I've worked too hard for this to put it on display for everyone. Exposing myself to the general public cheapens the entire experience.
Is this a political thing, I've been asked. Well, not exactly. It's a personal thing. The entire political/social side of it is really just a side effect, an unintended bonus. I'm not exactly politically active in any way other than the most subtle of behind-the-scenes. Am I a terrorist? (Yes, someone has actually asked me this.) No, of course not. Nor am I a freedom fighter. Nor a hero. But having someone think that I could be? I'll take that as a compliment and leave it at that. There are a lot of preconceived notions flying around today, there is a lot of hate and judgment. If I can do a little bit to fight that I gladly will. If I can do a small part to promote tolerance and diversity than I gladly will. But it is not my primary objective.
This is not something I am doing for attention. It really annoys me when people imply that. As has always been the case with me, I do what I do because it is personally relevant to me at the time. I have never, never cared what people think of me when I walk down the street. Unless you are somebody that I personally know your opinion of me does not matter one iota. Though it is nice to be acknowledged when I look nice, no doubt, it is not a reason in the least. Craving attention of that sort implies that one have a far different sense of self than I do.
I dress the way I do, speak the way I do, act the way I do at any given time because I find myself unable to put down the wheel of progress and improvement and must always be at the razor's edge of life. I have to keep my fingers on the pulse-beat of the world or I am lost. And lately the world is whispering, telling me that a little bit of modesty, of healing, of faith, of common decency is in severe demand. It's telling you, too, if you'd only take a moment and listen. I am a creature of extremes and so I will take this as far as I can, and then more likely than not move on to the next level. I will not apologize for it, I will not bend myself over backwards to accommodate the comfort level of the masses. If it makes you uncomfortable, well, good. There is more to life than a nine to five, prime time television, and prepackaged food. Call it god, call it the life force of the universe, call it enlightenment, call it whatever you'd please. Look me in the eyes and tell me otherwise; it's the only part of me you'll be able to see, eventually. The rest is not for you.
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