When you hear the word "hijab" what image does the word conjure up for you? Mysterious women dressed in black with only their kohl rimmed eyes showing? Oppressed women forced to shroud themselves in deference to some feudal style patriarchy that rules a society still waiting to evolve out of the Dark Ages? In the West the issue of head covering is a highly charged one both politically and culturally. To many people in Western societies a woman covering her hair or body is seen as a symbol of the terrorist threat, evoking instant mistrust and fear - the fear of a completely unknown way of life and cultural identity.
But if you look deeper, and read history more closely, the history of women is inextricably tied to the veil. As my good friend and fellow founder of the iCover Project Dara Theresa has said," A veil can mean many things...". The veil is also a powerful symbol of femininity, which is noticeably absent in Western culture. Sexuality and femininity are two different things that work well when they are in balance with one another, but Western culture has managed to diminish the essence of femininity by focusing solely on sexuality. Overexposure is so ubiquitous in Western culture that a veiled or modestly dressed woman startles the people around here who are not used to a woman not displaying as much flesh as possible.
I have played with the idea of wearing a head covering for a long time. On National "Wear a Hijab Day" to support Muslim women in the US who wear it I wore a pretty scarf on my head and was genuinely surprised by how confident I was and how good it felt to feel totally in control of who was seeing what on my body. I felt like I could take on the world. I was shocked by how visceral the reactions were to a woman wearing a scarf covering her head. Even my own husband, who has seen me with crazy dyed hair and other unique fashion choices, was taken aback when I showed up to pick him up at work with a pretty blue and gold scarf wound around my head. I noticed that he treated me with more respect, more deference, and more attention. Not that he doesn't always treat me that way, but it was an instinctual reaction for him, and it really made me think.
I'm not a stranger to standing out. As an old school veteran of the punk/goth/industrial era I always felt totally comfortable standing out when it was authentic for me to do so. I still prefer combat boots to high heels and lots of black eyeliner to the latest fashion trends. I haven't been in a mall in nearly a decade, and I don't foresee that changing. I'm not a person that cares too much what others think. But because this is such new territory for me I was unnerved by it when I wore a scarf. It disturbed me on a very deep level that wearing exaggeratedly revealing clothing didn't bother me, but not wearing it did bother me. And I saw in a moment of clarity that the sexuality I flaunted for so many years wasn't empowering, it was demeaning. And that by dressing in a way that put sexuality before anything else I was cheapening the core of my femininity. I admire women who wear hijab because of their careless elegance, their cool confidence, and how comfortable they seem in their own skins.
I know there's other women like me out there who flirt with the idea and then back away. To you I say come with me while I make this journey. Then go off on your own. Experiment with and take control of own identities. Resurrect femininity, and find strength in your own feminine power and sacred sexuality.
